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That last post felt good. Cleansing. And it got me thinking.

Back when this blog actually existed as a blog - like, with updates and stuff - there was one thing that always shitted me. And that was visiting the Colony site. Being in Australia, I suppose I always felt some vague loyalty to Colony and though I didn't particularly rate them, I bit my tongue and hid behind my 75% positive content policy.

But I was there again today, and enough is enough:

1) Their logo is so fucking rubbish that I almost can't bear it. There is just so many bad things about it. There is the obvious things, like that it rips off the Gucci logo, does a shit job of it, and looks like it's been created by an 11 year old learning to use Illustrator. But there is also a subtle indescribable shitness to it, something that just makes you feel bad:

Out of the darkness a mysterious, bad looking logo appeared

2) Every post on the site says "Yo yo!!" at the end of it. That also makes you feel bad.

3) The comments section of each page, makes me angry:

No Comments: OK, fair enough.
No comments yet: Of course there is not comments yet, cause there's no fucking comments.
RSS feed for the comments on this post. TrackBack URL: Would you like a feed of the comments that aren't allowed on this page? Maybe you'd like to leave a trackback that won't get left in the comments that don't exist?
Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time: No fucking shit.

If I could just make one comment, I would suggest that someone spends the 60 seconds that it would probable take to remove all this bullshit.

Sorry kids, that was just so negative, but felt so right. Some stuff just can't stay bottled up.

Guilt and Neglect... Honey

Last night I had a dream...

Actually, it was probably leaning more towards being a low level nightmare. I was being talked at by one of those guys who hang around in skateparks, on bikes, but with the sole purpose of honing their relentless and uninterruptable, talking-at-you skills. You probably know the dude.

Anyway, the light was fading and I was cornered and this uncontrollably verbal bmx bandit, he was really going for it. He was spitting all over me as he ranted with this mentally imbalanced, manically enthusiastic expression on his face. Wasting the valuable final minutes of my session as he repeated his crazed idea that the Fly not-pivotal seat post was the best bmx part ever created.

When I woke, I was confused. His views where controversial at best. What was all this about? Why had my sub-conscious conjured this impossibly annoying yet almost realistic character? Upon reflection, I decided that it was my inner self's effort to have me face up to the feelings of suppressed guilt and neglect that I've been carrying around with me.

Guilt: that I pretty much shut this blog down a few months ago in more of a fade away, than a burn up kind of way - I'd always thought that was a shitty way to go out. Guilty.

Neglect: of the unposted jpegs of new the Fly Bikes bits that are still hanging around in my inbox. Why had they not been either posted, or deleted? Neglect.

So it seems that the only way to exorcise this imaginary nightmare man talking blindly at me about bmx parts, is for me to. . . . . .

Talk blindly at you about bmx parts. At least this one last time. Sorry.

I couldn't actually tell you for certain, but I'm pretty sure that the last few months would have seen the standard shitload of new parts let loose via internet, stoking the fires of capitalism and exciting teenage males all over the western world to part with their parent's hard earned in the quest to define themselves by the parts they ride.

But I'm not going to sweet talk you with all that, I want to make you feel really special. I'm going to take you to my private place and show you the "things in my inbox".

Pretend like it's the 11th of November and you've never seen this lovely piece of framesmanship before:

Ooohhh... yeah... it's the Luna. And it's purple (or white).

Please don't complain that this is old news - I don't care - this isn't about you. I'm exorcising, and you just happen to be on the other end of the cable. If you're going to get all needy and naggy, you may as well put your pants back on and leave.

You don't need the specs. I don't have time and they're fucking everywhere, including here.

If you do like that kinda thing though, here's an illustration showing the features of Fly's 2010 frames. It is here because I like technical illustrations and it's a particularly fine example. Hats off to whoever at Fly draws that stuff:

Next: 24th of November and and you may recognize this sprocket:


Circulo by name, circulo by nature. All in all a very sprockety sprocket. They do always have good photos though, don't they darling? 2.2 oz.

5th of December now. The Pantera was the second bmx frame I ever owned. This is the Pantera V4, it's covered with investment castings, it's red, and if you click the pic, it's almost like it's real:

Yeah...

So...

That's it. Thanks. And all the best.

Can't See the Hammer for the Trees

OK, enough hammer, back on the horse:

Tree Bike Co are the legendary little guys of bmx. They only make new shit when it's better than the old shit, they don't advertise much so just rely on the quality of their stuff to sell itself, they don't do gimmicks, and they should be the heros of anyone that rides bmx and has ever laid hands on any lathe or some kind of rudimentary milling set up.

Their most recent bit of machinemanship is to be a stem they've done with the help of Super Rat Machine Works. At the risk of waving a red flag to the nothing-is-new-that-was-done-in-84 crowd, I'm saying that this stem features a new clamping system.

I can't tell you exactly how it works, but I can try to tell you exactly how I think it works. Will that do? I'd say the collar that goes around your fork steerer is slightly larger than the cavity that it sits in, so as the top and bottom pieces of the stem are tightened, the collar finds space by contracting in on itself and clamps your steerer in the process. Of course your bars are also clamped by the two bits of the stem body.

That was a shit description, but it's all I've got. Hopefully you get what I'm talking about, and hopefully what I'm talking about is what actually happens. Do you ever feel like you're wasting your time reading this? You could always go back and watch that MC Hammer clip in my last post.

Anyway, here's some pictures of the Stem With No Name and some captions from Sam Tree himself:


One stem. Three pieces. Four bolts. High Five!


He had some other captions for here, but the first one was better

I once had a hand in designing a stem.
It was shit.

Well... I didn't actually design one, I just made an almost entirely unresolved sketch. And although it may well have turned out to be shit if it was ever made, the shittiness that I'm refering to is that it attempts to solve a problem that I don't really even think really is a problem. You see, I had a friend who had an idea to design a stem that slotted onto your steerer so that your bars were all nice and straight. Of course people have been putting handlebars onto bikes for years and you don't often hear someone complaining that they just can't get their bars straight, but working on the principal that my hunches are very often wrong and just being generally keen to draw some bike stuff, I had a go and came up with this:



It's based around Superstar's Neutral fork which has an internally fluted steerer tube, but is probably too complicate to bother even trying to manufacture, especially when you consider that even 0.1mm slop in any of the fits would probably be amplified to a really noticeable amount of movement in the bars. My friend didn't like it and so together we came up with this:



That one might have been a little more realistic, and could have been done by machining a really slight groove down the sides of the steerer rather than the fluting that I sketched. But really you're probably just complicating things without really adding much other than the possibility that due to some slight error in jig set up or whatever, you'd end up making bars that locked on crooked to the steerer. That said one of the advantages of this idea is that the stem could come with two sets of wedges - with or without tabs - so it would also work without the slotted fork.

Anyway, whay am I posting all this? Well, apart from trying to make things a little more interesting, I'd been thinking that the Shola stem which was around at InterBike might be trying for something similar with what looks like little grub screws on the clamping collar:



And while we're talking stems, I may as well try to make up for some recent slackness by posting up the current incarnation of T1's Cyclops stem that was also around at InterBike. But that's it, I'm all outta stem news:

Here Come the Hammer...

Hey, long time no blog. How you been?

I admit that a week between blogs is pathetic, but I've been busy man. Take for example the fact that I recently formed a band named Hammer that are poised to set eyebrows on fire all over the globe. Said forming also included the development of a marketing strategy for the band involving popularising new slang uses of the word "hammer" such as "Mirra is all hammer on that special flip", or "Sergio's new tyre looks the hammer":



Truth be told, that whole Hammer thing only required a couple of mis-spent saturday evening hours and that the infrequent blogging thing is probably more about the fact that on this side of the world clocks have gone forward, we get an extra hour of light and after work sessions are back. Anyway tune in to see how that goes, but in the mean time, here come the Hammer:

The Odyssey

Odyssey have written a novel.

Odyssey actually haven't written a novel, but they have put together an encyclopedic product catalogue with a word count unprecedented by any bmx publication to date. I wonder who they think is going to read all those words? The BMX acedemia? I have a fairly high tolerance for that kind of stuff, but I've got to say, lost heart pretty quickly. That said, it's probably not so suited to an online experience. In hardcopy it'd be sure to be a thing of beauty - there's lots of nice photos and artwork, little tech diagrams and cut-away sections... and words, lots of words.

As said, amongst the words there are some photos of their new stuff:



This is their Chainwheel sprocket. I saw this from the InterBike coverage of their stand, but didn't really know what to say about it. It just kind of looked unfinished and I didn't really understand why they wanted to add a bad looking sprocket that kind of has a milled-in-your-grandads-back-shed feel to it, to their range of really dope sprockets. But the answer to all question are to be found within the pages of the Odyssey encyclopedia. If you make it through the 500 word intro, you'll find that it's actually supposed to look bad. At least it's supposed to look like a chainwheel / spider set up of yesteryear. Fair enough.

Anyway let's offset these negative vibes with some afore mentioned "dope" sprocket imagery:



Awwwww - that's more like it! They've updated the Vermont sprocket and are calling it the Burlington. And that's a 25 tooth, in gold and looking rad. Apparently they've changed the tooth profile on this and the Chainwheel sprockets to something they're calling an Incisor tooth profile. And that's pretty much how it looks.

Pedals. While we're talking pedals it should be noted that you actually would need an encyclopedia to keep up with the number of colourways that you can get Odyssey's PC pedals in. This may, or may not be the newest edition added to that list:



That's also gold in case you didn't catch it. I have no idea how many colour variation these pedals have seen in the couple of years since they've become the pedal of choice for just about everyone, but my guess would be 23. Just sounds about right. I'd also guess that somewhere out there is a Ody PC freaker who has a cupboard full of bagged up mint editions of every colour ever released. Definitely. In fact, if you are that guy, could you please fill me in on the official total?

I suppose you can't count these as straight PCs, but you can definitely count me in for a pair. And of course they're set to open up a whole new world of pedal mixin'n'matchin:



JC PC's. That's a lot of little piec-es.

But Jim, while I've got you here: What's with the crappy 3rd wave tube photos in this flip book? You've managed to focus on just about everything but the fucking tubes!



Anyway, I don't want to get on Jim's bad side, so I'll leave that. But you think there would be a few 3rd wave frames lying around the Sunday offices and it might be worth actually snapping a decent photo - I mean Adam managed alright.

Anyway, in amongst the shoes, tyres, promotional displays and whatnot in focus was what looked like... wait for it... a new PC pedal colourway. Camo, it seems. That is new isn't it? So at least some good came from it.

I think that's more than enough.

Gold Soundz

It's Saturday.

And I just heard that Pavement are re-forming.
And doing shows in Melbourne.

I know you don't care but...



So drunk in the August sun
And you're the kind of girl I like
Because you're empty
And I'm empty...

Gold soundz.

American Metal

If you're a machine head, or even just somewhat mechanically inclined, you'll appreciate this:



There's a flipbook up on FBM with all the detail of their new Steadfast trails frame. The frame looks damn nice and has the added bonus of coming with a cast pewter headtube badge. But really I just wanted an excuse to lift that photo and put it here. There's just something about it isn't there? Precision metal, ready for some precision weldsmanship, and just a few hours away from being someone's object of desire. Nice.

And here's another nice one for the mechanically inclined - the making of a Fit DLR stem. Along with the precision metal, this even has the added nicety of couple of bad-asses doing there thing.There's Van Homan disregarding his personal safety and flicking the bars 6 feet up, as well as some anodiser doing the dip and filling his lungs with hydrogen and sulfuric acid fumes all in a self-less quest to feed the colour machine. Enjoy: